As defined by the urban dictionary:
Guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children.
To be honest, I didn’t really have “mom guilt” when it was just Maxwell. I would hear moms talk about mom guilt and I honestly would think to myself, “Am I selfish?” “I really don’t feel bad leaving and doing something for myself.” I guess I just didn’t understand where this stemmed from. I felt like I gave Max everything I needed too and when it was time for me, it was time for me. Though, this usually involved shopping or a mani/pedi(I’m sure Dusko wished the guilt was stronger on my end)! lol
Once Emerson was born I started to feel a little differently about “mom guilt.” I guess I started to understand it a bit more. For one, she is a MAMA’s girl 100%. This type of stage 5 clinger can make anyone feel the guilt when they so much as go to the bathroom( I wish I was kidding)! She just makes me feel like she needs me more. Maxwell has always been a little more independent.
Moms feel guilt for different reasons, some feel guilt financially because let’s be honest, kids are expensive! So maybe that pedicure isn’t worth the $45 anymore. Some feel guilt because they have to go to work everyday, and some feel guilt because they do get to stay home with them but not every minute of everyday is sunshine and rainbows. Some mom’s feel guilt for taking care of themselves-I mean seriously, they can stay in their crib 10 mins longer so we can get a shower in!
I recently felt MOM guilt hard. Dusko & I went on a weekend getaway to Arizona & California. The morning we were leaving Maxwell woke up with a 102 fever. He was crying and did NOT want us to leave. I felt guilt, a lot of guilt. But some of the guilt I felt was because I WANTED to make sure we got on that airplane. I needed the break! But I also knew deep down that he was probably going to be sick the entire time. I also knew that Emerson was probably going to get sick, sooner rather than later. Well, we got on the plane. Max got better in a day and Emme got sick the next day. Basically they were sick the entirety of our trip. It sucked and all I wanted was to be here holding my babies when they needed me most. In all reality, they were with their two grandmas and who better than to spoil them when mom isn’t there??? Plus, I came home(as a sahm) appreciating them A LOT more! And guess what, they are just fine. My point-take the trip!! They won’t remember you leaving them and honestly by next month you will forget too. Although, I do remember when I was in 3rd(ish) grade, my mom and grandma dragging me to some IHSA State golf tournament for my uncle when I had the stomach flu. I still joke to this day that it was horrible! lol. I wonder if my mom felt guilt that day🤣🤣🤣. Sometimes it’s just hard to be in two places at once.
The cold, hard, reality is that our children are going to be much happier people the happier we are with ourselves! SO get out there and do something for yourself today that you might have felt guilty about yesterday!!!! What are you going to take the time to do? Would love to hear in the comments!
I became a single mom when Blaine was just 9 months old. I had to find a job and the thought of leaving him was agony!!!!! I found a job as a nanny and could bring him and I was so happy. The job ended a year later and truly I felt like it was unnatural to leave him. He cried and went into hysterics. I never forgot that feeling. Sometimes I really believe it did hurt him. He did survive though and is a very happy person.
Awww, but he turned out to be such a great young man! Thanks for taking the time to read! Parenting is one tough job and I know it doesn’t get easier!
I feel ya and I hear ya girl!! So much mom guilt over here!! But yes completely agree you need time for yourself and time with the hubs! So important and needed!
Yes! We still need to be ourselves and feel good about it! Thanks for stopping by and reading. See you soon!